The beginning

A couple of weeks ago I wrote this.

Dear future partner
So many online dating sites ask you, what is your ideal partner and I think, how utterly ridiculous. The one that asked about my pubic hair and if I was interested in a threesome (FFM or MMF) was at least more tangible.
But I sit, staring at the curser trying to capture what it is I want, what I imagine you will be.
From what I can tell so far, going off my reactions to the images of “matches” sent to me, I have a very big thing for men with twinkly eyes. Strong jawlines feature and I seem quite partial to salt-and-pepper hair. Not fat is compulsory. Tall is nice but not essential.
But who are you exactly? I want someone with interests and passion. I want someone who has fire in his belly about something.
You have to be able to make me laugh.
I need you to have friends of your own, who will welcome me in but are first and foremost your friends who you have lent on when times were rough.
And here I hesitate because I’m not sure if I’m allowed to even think this let alone give it oxygen.
I want you to fall head over heels in love with me. I want you to feel maddening love for me, where I pervade your thoughts and stop you from being able to concentrate. I want you to think, ‘She would love that’, and then act on it. I want you to do nice things for me without me asking and that can be as mundane or as special as you like. I want to be in your every waking moment.
I want you to love every inch of me. I want you to make love to me like you never have with anyone else. I want the connection to be as visceral as it is emotional or intellectual.
I think I am that loveable.
And it goes without saying that everything I hope for in you is what I can give in return.
So can you show yourself?
Thanks.

Then I got really maudlin. The online dating experience was not working, friends’ husbands were fair game for me to crash tackle just for some mansmell and I was as toey as a goat herder.

Something was going to have to give.

More to come (mtc)

RD